Have you ever stopped to think about how your childhood affects you? Childhood is the ground level in this life. It is our foundation. We simply cannot say, ‘What happens in childhood stays in childhood,’ because the truth of the matter is, it doesn’t stay anywhere. Our childhood is our base for this life that we lead, and without a strong foundation, we struggle to navigate the waters of life. The good news is… it’s never too late to create a strong foundation for your children or yourself!
I am the youngest of four girls and there are 11, 14 and 15 years from me to my big sister’s, so as a child I got a great deal of attention. I was a dancer, a singer, an artist, and yes, a writer, even at a young age. I won art contests, had amazing opportunities in dance, was recognized as a soloist at state competitions, and was honored for my writing. I was usually praised for what I was doing according to what others thought…
“You’re a good artist Vicki,”
“That was a great song,”
“Good job on your dance.”
I worked hard to be the best, but I wasn’t always the best. When I wasn’t the best, of course I felt less than.
My parents were loving, hard working people, who taught us to be kind, generous, and always help those in need. They were truly amazing and always tried to do their very best with their children, as we all do in our own way. They never intended to pass on this feeling of unworthiness to me. They were truly oblivious to this core belief being born within me at a young age.
No-one set out to give me this core belief as a child, yet the message was clear, “Be the best, or it’s just not good enough.”
We don’t even realize what we do to our kids because we are dealing with our own core beliefs as we parent our children.
I’ve worked with children for over 20 years in my life and I have an amazing tool for you today…
When your child tries their hardest, overcomes a fear, tries something new, or even wins an art contest, before you tell them what you think, take the time to ask them what they think. I often praise my son for doing and being, but I am constantly reminding myself of this lesson and asking him to tell me how he feels so that he will know how amazing he is whether he is 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 5,983rd!
Empowering praise is praise that we give to our children and ourselves, where we take a step back and say, “Wow! You did your personal best, and good for you!” Empowering praise is praise we give to our children and ourselves even when we feel like we’ve failed. We take a deep breath and say, “That was my best at that time, I will prevail.”
Give your children a gift and give yourself a gift…
See the Light within no matter what the outcome is on your next endeavor!
Lots of Love & tons of Light,
Vicki