Many years ago, while working on my bachelor’s degree in child psychology, I was placed at a private preschool for an internship.  I loved going there in the middle of my day.  I could just lay in the middle of the floor, become totally immersed in the children’s world of play, and suddenly none of my ‘problems’ mattered.  If I wasn’t careful, they would turn me into a ramp for cars or a bench, but that was really the best part!

The kids there were ages 3 and 4….truly my favorite ages.  At this age, we are all about expressing ourselves.  Most kids just don’t seem to care what others think at this age.  They are expressing what is known as ‘executive competence’ and usually will say things like, “I do it myself.”  (I just LOVE that!)  The owner of this particular preschool was a bit intense.  She had high energy, and I believe wanted to do a good job with the kids, but had expectations that were off the charts for this age.  I watched her squash their little imaginations on several occasions and I don’t think she even knew that she was doing so.   She was technically, my boss, so I would usually just go over quietly and mend their little egos as quickly as I saw that they were emotionally stung.  I held my tongue with her because I was there to complete my internship.  However, when it comes to kids, it’s very difficult for me to stand by and watch when harmful behavior is occurring (even when it’s not intentional).  So, one day I simply couldn’t take it anymore, and I had to do something…

It was the fall, and the kids were given a pumpkin coloring sheet.  I vaguely remember a page with a huge pumpkin and a long, curly vine with leaves.  The crayons were in bins on the tables for the kids, and the orange crayon was set out at the top of all of their pumpkin sheets.  The preschool owner/teacher said, “ok, go ahead and color your pumpkin, and be sure to stay in the lines!”  Really?  They are 3 and 4!  Anyways, all of the kids picked up that orange crayon and diligently worked at coloring the large pumpkin, like little soldiers, except for one.  I glanced across the room and noticed one little boy who reached for a purple crayon.  He had a huge smile upon his face and looked truly proud of his choice.  I smiled when I saw this.  Then, the teacher noticed and screamed, “Will, what are you doing?  Pumpkins are not purple!  Have you ever seen a purple pumpkin?”  I watched in horror as that little boy’s smile melted off of his face. I had just witnessed someone pounce on this child’s self worth and annihilate him for his authentic creativity.  I knew the teacher’s goal was likely to teach the proper colors, but that’s not what Will had in mind.  I walked over to him, knelt down and touched the orange crayon.  I then asked, “what color is this Will?”  He responded, “orange.” I continued by asking him a few other colors and he answered with the correct color each time.  I then asked, “Will, why did you make your pumpkin purple?”  He replied, “I willy like purple.  It’s my favwit.”  Of course I gave the kid the purple crayon and said, “Will, if you want a purple pumpkin bud, then go ahead and color it purple!”  Needless to say, that was my last day at that internship, but I learned a very important lesson…

Before we rush to correct a child’s effort, perhaps we should take the time to ask questions.  Our children may not always have the same ideas about how the world works, as we do.  It is our job to guide them and teach them how we know it works, but we have a much more important job… to teach our children to honor their own feelings, thoughts, and creativity.  Oftentimes, we, as teachers, parents, ‘grown ups’, think we have all the answers (and we certainly have an agenda), but maybe, just maybe, we should take the time to see what their answers and agenda’s are.  We just might be educated, enlightened, and even empowered!

Today, take the time to ask questions before you correct.  You may be surprised at the wonderful lesson you learn from the little teacher right in front of you!  Afterall, could Will have been teaching us that it’s okay to be different?